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Stroke Awareness DAY

10/29/2014

Yes, F**k Cancer. But can we be real for a moment?
Breast Cancer is the #25 cause of death internationally.
Stroke is #2.
For Breast Cancer Awareness MONTH, you can do little more than open your pocketbook and profess that yes, you are aware. Oh also, you can wear pink.
For Stroke Awareness DAY(today!) there are things you can actually do.
You can learn the signs of stroke. You can prepare for a life-threatening situation and help someone during the stroke and immediately after the stroke. You can actually be the one to make a difference at the moment it happens.
This hits relatively close to home recently, and it's made me painfully aware. So... Learn the signs. Help others.
F- Face drooping
A - arm weakness
S - slurred speech
T - time is of the essence.
Learning FAST is a good start.
Be advised that there are other signs for stroke - confusion, vision and sudden headaches, notably. Here's a wonderfully well-written story that articulates this well -- a young woman who had a stroke and had NONE of these symptoms.

Rant over. Because it's only a day, after all.

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My Son is Smarter Than Me.

10/28/2014

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"Vaughn, I need you to go up to your room and clean up your clothes. You have clothes all over the place on the floor, and I need you to NEATLY fold them and put them away."

(He leaves and comes back about 10 minutes later)

"Did you put your clothes away?"

"Yeah, I even put away those bins that were on the floor."

"Good. Did you fold them?"

"Yep"

(skeptically) "You don't usually fold things"

"Yeah, I fold things"

"Yes, but you never fold things and put them away, you just throw them in the bins."

"I did."

"So you're saying you've done something you've never done before."

"Yes."

"If I go up there, will I be disappointed?"

(Shrug) "I don't know. That's you."

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The man's guide to what your wife is saying

10/28/2014

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My wife said to me today: "I feel like I'm drowning in laundry. I don't know what it is. And I have to do our blankets too, they stink. ugh!"

I thought I was being helpful as I commiserated with my usual "yeah" and "hm!" - because what do you say? "Wow, sounds like a lot of laundry!" "You can do it, you're the laundry queen!" I thought she was just venting her frustrations, so I showed whatever support I felt at the time by grumbling in assent.

A bit later I went up to take a shower, and thought I'd pitch in with our little problem by folding a load of clothes. I was surprised to find that there wasn't a load in the dryer. There wasn't a load in the washer. There were no loads. It was like a good mutual fund up in here.

Oh good, a finance joke. Those always go over well.

She didn't want my sympathy. She wanted my HELP. Now what she could have said was "hey, can you get a load in the laundry real quick? It's kinda piling up." But instead she chose the pre-passive aggressive route of saying how frustrated she was with her workload(like it's solely hers, which of course it isn't, another story there) - in an attempt to get me to volunteer for service.

So as usual, my response in these moments isn't what she was looking for, and in retrospect I have one of these moments: "oooooh, THAT's what she meant."

"Pre-passive-aggressive", that should immediately be in the urban dictionary, don't you think?

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Tony Markey?

I am a bourgeois spiritualist.
A banjoist,
Social entrepreneur,
quadricycle pilot,
harlequin, and
purveyor of all things passe.
At least I was that yesterday.

I am an elbow model.
a Wii sportsman,
a seven sigma diamond belt,
Rainmaker,
bon vivant du monde,
uniquely de rigeur.

I am a creative genius -
as long as by 'creative' you mean 'things that make you go 'huh', and by genius you mean 'well, that seems smart on the surface'.
Just don't think too much about it.

I am all that you desire -
unless you have really weird desires.
I am humble, more than anyone else in the world.

An artisan of manufacturing processes, and a craftsman of fine art.
A post-modern neo-renaissance man.

I have a heart of gold, a tongue in my cheek, an athlete's foot and a hitch in my git along.

A hater of hate and a lover of love,
A grand master of 5 martial arts - none of which I have studied.

I am a dreamer of dreams --
some of which have been a little erotic, actually. But nevermind that. Unless you're into that?

I am a man of amazing vision, but worsening eyesight.

I am 1/2 vagabond,
1/2 the son and heir (of nothing in particular), and
1/2 fruit salad. Yummy yummy.

I am a nomad, grifter, drifter,
perpetrator of ponzi love schemes
Some people call me a space cowboy...

That's just a little bit about me.

Buy me pretty shoes

Stroke Awareness DAY

My Son is Smarter Than Me.

The man's guide to what your wife is saying

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