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Genghis Khan or Machiavelli?

1/30/2016

Lesser of two evils 2016

It's just days before the Iowa caucuses 2016, And lo and behold Trump is still in it. In fact he's really in it, and forecasted to win. Cruz is a close second, but these candidates are the front runners, in my opinion, not because of who they are, but who they represent to the electorate. Both candidates have successfully positioned themselves favorably, differentiating themselves from 'the establishment,' and in 2016 'going rogue' ahem *trumps* political sensibility.

Trumps unlikely candidacy is fueled by the populism born of the tea party, the anti-government, anti-establishment, we-don't-care-for-politicians sentiment. It doesn't matter if you have experience. Doesn't matter if you're likable. It just matters if you get things done. Bullies are welcome, in fact that's a strong plus. Donald Trump resonates with these voters precisely because he didn't have a snowballs chance in hell when he started running. The pundits underestimated trumps chances because they under estimated the strength of the populist movement. What's out is in, and like skinny ties, Trumps success is - to say the least - a head-scratcher. On paper, it just doesn't work. But that's exactly why it works. His appeal is that he has no appeal. It's as if his entire campaign is a giant New York middle finger to the political class. Say what you want about Trump - it's still completely entertaining, like watching a train wreck is entertaining. You can't NOT look.

What's interesting is that Ted Cruz is situated similarly, but it's the rational opposite. His "anti-crony capitalism" rhetoric fires up the same base. If your hate for Senate gridlock has you excited about Ted Cruz, I think you're betting for the snake against the mongoose. He's the lawyerly opposite of Trump stylistically, but the words are practically the same - they're just more polished.

Since Trump and Cruz have similar poll numbers, you could draw the conclusion that the populist movement in the GOP at present is extremely significant, and the conservatives are a bit lost in their ideology. You'd be right. Both candidates exemplify this - Trump is socially liberal and Cruz would just as soon shut down the government as have to give an inch on an issue. Both candidates' campaigns are reactions against what the GOP has stood for. Both represent the failure of GOP policy to 'stick' with the GOP base.

Of course they are far different candidates IRL. One of the main differences is that Trump, while a bully on the debate stage, is, according to Sarah Palin, willing to make a 'dill,' while Cruz is the type of politician that is willing to set his own house on fire to collect insurance money.

Both are scary. But both represent how fed up the American people are with their politicians. With the gridlock in the system. The GOP has no one to blame but themselves for this quandary, this choice between two terrible candidates. It's Genghis Khan versus Machiavelli. Who would you rather have as your next president?

Why I Loved - and am Starting to Dislike - The Walking Dead

3/12/2015

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It started off as such a sweet romance. The crossbow-happy apocalyptic schizophrenia of Darryl and his brother; the panic of Rick with his wife and son, who apparently cannot die. Michonne, who is so badass she doesn’t even need the katana. She led two walkers without bottom jaws – so they could not bite. Like a post-apocalyptic Valkyrie, flying along with wings on her feet. Jawless wings. Even the bad guys were horrid but somehow likeable. Didn’t the governor have something that – despite his horror- was still somehow watchable, and even enviable in the apocalypse? The hope of Terminus gave hope to the show for many episodes.

The Walking Dead’s first few seasons were real, gritty, intense. They were what we feared the apocalypse may be. Barbarism. Cannibalism. Dominant personalities given free reign with guns to back them up.

But then, this season, and a few episodes of meh.

The Walking Dead misses a very important point: to survive the zombie apocalypse, you need to learn.

These characters aren’t learning. Every apocalypse weirdo knows you need to few things to survive. You need food. You need water. You need shelter.

Our heroes can’t seem to figure this out. The season starts with the group wondering what to do for a few episodes. The best plans they can come up with: go somewhere else.

Rick has taken his hope and turned it into stupidity.

Michonne has taken her “rebel with a plan” persona and abandoned it for stupidity.

Even beloved Darryl seems to be taking stupid pills. "I'm getting tired of smelling horse manure." Seriously, he said that, indicating his vote for “go with the guy who has told us nothing and we don’t know f-all about.”

Why aren’t questions being asked of the new character who shows up and invites them back to Alexandria? How many are at their home? What’s the governance like? Are you ruled by owls? Is this group run by prepper cult weirdos?

Do you eat people?

None of these questions are asked. Not ONE.

Michonne has to remind Rick - “Did you ask him the questions?”

(Oh, and by the way, this character hasn’t been out of anyone’s sight, so she knows full well the answer, but let’s put a pin in that.)

It’s not that the characters of TWD aren’t struggling with their identities – I get that. It’s that suddenly they forgot that survival means you need to figure out where your next meal will come from. It means that you need to be aware of water. But somehow, our heroes have forgotten about basic necessities, because they’ve only lived through months and months of the apocalypse, so you could see how you might forget how the basics are necessary.

The show violates the third wall of the apocalypse: Thou shall not look into the audience and say “I have to eat. I have to drink water.” If you violate this wall, it’s like making eye contact with the audience in an aside – you have to show that stuff.

In doing so, TWD has to justify where it’s at. Why is this the first time we’re hearing about water? Why is this the first time everyone is acting like their IQ has dipped below 50?

Show us the toilet paper or stop wasting our time. And please, someone remember that you need water and food to live, and you can ask questions of a prisoner if you want to. FFS, LEARN.

I loved TWD because the characters were smart and had to make difficult decisions. This season they can’t even make simple decisions. Unless that changes, I’m not sure I’ll be able to make the simple decision to keep watching it every week.

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Marshawn Lynch is a Boob.

1/27/2015

I’m sick sick sick of people defending Marshawn Lynch for not talking to the media. He’s a boob, Marshawn Lynch. A boob that could show up at my house right now and crumple me into tinfoil for saying that. Agreed. But a boob nonetheless.

I get his desire NOT to talk to the media. It can be a circus. I’m not a part of that world, I’m just a sometime fan, someone who lives near Seattle and appreciates this incredible ride the Seahawks have taken us on. It’s thrilling and unusual for us, and there is something very special about this team.

I will be rooting for Marshawn Lynch next week, you can be sure. The Seahawks’ success is in no small way related to the prowess of the BEST running back in the league. He’s respected throughout the league for his ability, and rightly so. An incredibly gifted athlete, and a kind person too. You have to respect and admire that.

Marshawn returned a wallet to its rightful owner. He’s a good guy. He has great relationships with his teammates, runs like a cross between a ballet dancer and a rhinoceros, and often doesn’t go out of bounds at the end of the play. Fantastic.

But the media thing? Boobish.

And not to insult boobs everywhere. I, like many men, am a fan of boobs. I am talking about boob in the perjorative sense: “A stupid or foolish person”

I could respect it if Lynch was clowning the media. I could respect it if Lynch would respond with something clever like “We were sportsing hard, and the other team wanted to sports too, but our team sportsed and sportsed, we never gave up sportsting, and scored more pointses in the game so we won it.” I don’t know, something fun, not tacitly insulting like “I’m here so I won’t get fined” and “Yeah” and “Thank you for asking.” That’s not even a good joke.

Another Seattle fan countered this today, saying Lynch has stage fright. That’s a hilarious idea, and a new one for me. But check out this Cal clip. These are not the actions of someone who has a sudden fear of being on camera. Refusing to talk to the media are the actions of someone who just doesn’t want to play by the rules anymore.

Lynch was also interviewed on camera by former Seahawk now-analyst Michael Robinson.

This isn’t stage fright. It’s just Lynch being a petulant kid who doesn’t want to do something he’s supposed to do.

You are paid to be in the circus, Marshawn. Protesting it AFTER you sign the contract is as pointless as it is stupid. It’s demeaning to the game and to the reporters who are trying to tell your story, the Seahawks’ story, the NFL’s story. In this way, it’s also insulting to the fans who want to hear what you were thinking and doing both before, during, and after the game. Instead, we find only bad jokes where there could be insight, only lame quotes where there might be inspiration.

Its funny hearing so many in Seattle defend him. Lynch apologists abound. “The media needs to leave him alone.” “The media are a bunch of children!” “Just let him play football!”

In Seattle, I’m in the minority in my criticism of Lynch, in the same way that it’s hard to find people who don’t like Tom Brady in Boston.

Let’s remember that Lynch makes over seven million dollars per year, and part of the contract he signed requires him to talk to the media. Is that too much to ask? The media isn’t the “child” in this analogy. Lynch is. Think of the number of players who would literally give their testicles to be in his situation – and they would happily talk to the media, soprano or no. Love to talk to the media. Please let me talk, They would say. Put a camera in front of them. Mic them up.

Heck, pay me seven million a year and I’d run a one-hour press conference by myself. I’d even play the tin whistle and perform an interpretive dance on a subject of your choosing.

Of course, the results of my on-field performance might not be the same as Lynch’s. Ahem.

So man up, Marshawn. The fans want to hear from you too, but we are forced to try and defend the Seahawks snotty running back because he can’t act civilly towards reporters. When slapped with a fine by your NFL “Dad,” you take it directly to “I know you are and what am I?” phase. "Yeah." "Thank you for Asking." How is that different from my kids telling me they don’t want to put the dishes away?

Lynch lives in the house. He should do the work that’s required. Is that so danged difficult? It’s just the dishes. Everyone has to do them. It’s a house rule.

Actually, I wouldn’t really have a problem with this except that Lynch is contractually obligated. That’s the kicker for me. It’s ludicrous to suggest that the NFL should remove this from any player’s contract, so let’s not pretend that this is somehow a viable option. There is a gofundme trying to raise money to pay Lynch’s fine. Seriously, we’re so delusional we want to crowdsource a petulant millionaire’s fine.

If you do any work on contract, you probably have the same feelings about this that I do. You are probably a little miffed at someone who makes millions but can’t fulfill the most basic requirements of what they should do. If you’re a plumber, imagine someone who refuses to install to code because they don’t want to. Or if you’re a manager, you don’t really have to abide all those dumb HR rules, do you? Why should I have to clock in everyday, anyway?

It feels like being in the middle of a parent arguing with his child, doesn’t it?

In the real world, refusing something you are contractually obligated to do has real consequences, and often they involve being fired. But this is the fantasyland of the NFL, where even cheating is shrugged off. I’m talking to you, New England. At least Seattle fans aren’t trying to explain Avogadro’s law this week in justification of our players, right? It could definitely be worse.

And Hey Lynch: will you sign my football? What do you mean “Thank you for asking?”

Okay, yeah, I probably blew any shot at that with this article, didn’t I?

“Yeah.”

I’ll still root for Lynch and the Seahawks this weekend. At the end of the day, I don’t really care if he talks with the media. It’s just a guy breaking his contract. It’s stupid, but the effect is negligible on the sport. Lynch is still the best runner in the game, and that is the most important aspect of football, right?

“Yeah.”

Go Seahawks!

On The Right Side

12/9/2014

A new book by Karen Magill is detailed on Linda Lee Greene's blog today.

"On The Right Side, My Story of Survival and Success tells of my journey through those dark days when I didn’t want to live any longer to now when I can’t wait to start a new day. I say, if you aren't six feet under, then you are on the right side and anything is possible."

Available at Amazon

Fight For Living Wage is a Worthy One

11/19/2014

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Note: This article originally appeared in the Mukilteo Beacon on 11/19/2014

I was surprised to see a former mayor of Mukilteo’s tirade at the prospect of raising of the minimum wage [“$15 – Not Now!,” Guest View, page 4, Nov. 12].

Emory Cole’s rant was a cornucopia of conspiracy theories, a demonstration of his belief in trickle-down economics and a stern caution at the boogeyman of socialism in America.

Consider these facts from the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics and the National Low Income Housing Coalition:

Half of the Americans earning minimum wage are over 25 years old. Eighty percent of them are white.

In every state in the country, a minimum wage worker has to work 70 hours or more per week to afford the average apartment.

The reality of the minimum wage in the U.S. today, is that too often the Americans earning it aren’t “the young” and “immigrants,” as he assumes. That’s a common misconception.

Wal-Mart and McDonald’s have resources to help their full-time workers sign up for government assistance because so many workers are still under the federal poverty level.

The current minimum wage equals poverty for a great number of Americans, and raising it would help cut taxpayer costs for SNAP programs in every state. That would have the effect of reducing government.

Google “CEO Pay versus worker pay,” and you’ll see graphs of an incredible gap. The outsourcing Mayor Cole fears has already happened to many middle class workers in the U.S.

But paying $15 an hour isn’t going to prompt a small business owner to outsource their landscaping jobs to Malaysia, their sign-spinners to Guam, or their fry cooks to Bangalore. It’s extremely difficult to outsource jobs at the very bottom of the pay scale.

As comedian Chris Rock said: “I used to work at McDonald's, making minimum wage. You know what that means when someone pays you minimum wage? You know what your boss was trying to say? ‘Hey if I could pay you less, I would, but it's against the law.’”

Mayor Cole takes aim at SEIU's support of the measure as simply designed to create more “subjects.” His word. Subjects.

Is it so surprising that a union might fight for a living wage? I was especially surprised to hear that from a former mayor of Mukilteo.

We have so many union workers locally, which has prevented outsourcing on many occasions. I’m sure those union members bristled at Cole’s comments.

He takes it one step further in the same paragraph: In the dramatic conspiracy theory he’s created, those in government and running for political office must be involved.

Again, how is supporting a living wage so self-serving? Could it be that the concept isn’t a vast conspiracy, but might actually have popular support?

According to OSPI, in 2013 more than 7,500 children qualified for free and reduced lunches in the Mukilteo School District alone. Almost 400 of those students were at Kamiak High School.

How many of these children would not have to apply for free lunches if the minimum wage was increased? This isn’t an abstract problem. It’s a very serious reality for our community.

A socialism rant against a member of the Seattle City Council marks the latter half of Mayor Cole’s Op-Ed. It was indecipherable. Other than to assuming that his obvious personal disdain for her upbringing colored his remarks, it was a tangential veer into absolutist nonsense.

Seattle City Councilmember Sawant is not the only supporter of raising the minimum wage, though she has been a vocal proponent. I’m left with the feeling that Cole doesn’t agree with the councilmember’s personal choices or upbringing, and therefore he doesn’t agree with her position.

But to introduce the example of socialism in France as some sort of McCarthyist cry for a witch-hunt is too much. We’re talking about Americans being able to buy food and supply their basic needs, not some socialist conspiracy theory.

There is one aspect of the minimum wage debate that definitely bears further scrutiny. If you raise wages, then business owners have to compensate, potentially increasing the cost of consumer goods and business services.

That is the best part of the argument Mayor Cole advances; the argument he should have developed in his Op-Ed. Some increase in price is inevitable, and that should be a significant point of discussion.

That essence of that question goes something like: Do we suffer a possible increase in the price of goods, whatever that is, but help Americans make a living wage?

Or do we protect business interests at the expense of the working poor?

My favorite response to that issue is from Samantha Bee on “The Daily Show.” In response to the suggestion that we might experience $10 hamburgers if we raise the minimum wage, she replies with thoughtful sarcasm:

“I do like my hamburgers flavored with the tears of poverty…”

If we continue to insist on wages that won’t pay the rent, that’s a flavor we should all get used to.

Tony Markey is a marketing and business consultant in Mukilteo. He holds a master’s degree in business administration. His first book, Re-Run: My 30-Day Experiment to Fall Back in Love with Running, releases next month.

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The Inalienable Right to Complain

11/13/2014

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The results are in - and the turnout of voters in the US' midterm elections in 2014 is the worst in 72 years. Just over 1/3 of voters turned out for what. I think everyone took that video literally.

It's as if everyone said "turned out for what? Exactly." And concluded that there was absolutely no reason to vote.

It might have been, based on the above graphic, that the winners were those able to motivate a lackluster base. Ebola and Isis, two issues that have somehow disappeared from the media after November 11th, figured prominently in campaigns across the country, and could have swayed elections from more sensible results. Add to that some incredible money dumped into campaigns, the growing fear that Democrats and Republicans are eerily similar, and you've got a cocktail of reasons to, well, grab a cocktail rather than vote.

Most disheartening what what I kept seeing pop up: "If you don't vote, you can't complain!" This next to everyone's annoying "I voted" stickers on Facebook.

Complain? Is that our sole motivation? Is that our reason to participate in the political process? So we get to be mad about the results, now or in the future? Well no wonder 1/3 of Americans voted. Maybe the rest just figured they didn't want to exercise their inalienable right to complain.

We can all take heart that empty sloganeering that suggests that there isn't any point to voting doesn't work. I mean, Americans aren't that stupid.

On the other hand, suggestions that only one candidate can protect us from Ebola or Terrorism? Those work very well thank you. We are still that stupid - put us into flight or fight mode and we'll react. Fear still succeeds where songs that suggest the futility of the process can't.

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Fake Patriotism

11/12/2014

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I know the human race has a lot of things to work out. Can we stop with the fake holidays, the fake applause for fake heroic sentiment and fake causes?

We’re stuck with “Breast Cancer awareness month” when everyone and their goldfish is “aware.” Awareness, really? Breast Cancer is about #20 on the mortality list in America. Meanwhile, Stroke is the #2 killer nationally, and it’s recognizable when it happens. Stroke gets an awareness day. Does anyone know when that day is?

Veterans can get preferred parking at Home Depot now. Not the firefighter, or the nurse, or the caregiver, mind you. Just Veterans. Not disabled ones, that’s different. As someone who was in the National Guard, and thankfully not called upon to serve overseas, I know the commitment these men and women make, and it’s incredible, but I’m not really into the “thank you for service” thing. It’s far more valuable to these men and women that we insist that they have good access healthcare when they return, pay them a decent wage for what they do and respect their commitment than to give them preferential parking at Home Depot. ‘Merica.

There’s no war on Christmas. Just because Gretchen Carlson freaks out over a festivus pole. ugh. We have to stop all the fake outrage over nothing and just try to get along with each other as best we can. Live together, support, engage.

Did you clap for Veterans on your plane ride? They deserve our support. Did you clap for your fellow human? They do too. Did you clap for the police officer? The Fireman? What's the matter, not patriotic enough?
Declaring our Veterans important by applauding for them on the plane and ignoring their healthcare, pay, and the fact that they became disabled because we sent them to Iraq to find WMDs that didn't exist... how is clapping showing our support? Shouldn't we be saying we're sorry?

Rather than wearing a pink ribbon, or any of an hundred other gestures of little importance, try giving your time and expertise, your voice and your support. Taking up the cause of breast cancer “awareness” is about the most useless thing you can do, of ALL the things you can do to support breast cancer. Try helping someone going through it, donate your hair, give a little money. We're all painfully aware. That ship has sailed.

We should stop all the fakery of patriotism, of support, and look towards the real issues behind these challenges. Pink everything is not the answer. Parking spots aren't the answer. Proclaiming your religious holiday as sacrosanct and all others as interlopers is not the answer.

Talk about heroes. The public is prohibited from seeing pictures of fallen heroes returning to America. If one of those men and women are on your plane's cargo hold, how much more applause do those people deserve? They didn't get your support because their return is hidden from us. What does that message say? Those silenced men and women, how much more of an answer do they deserve than our own silence?

Those other things aren't even in the ballpark of answers.

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Stroke Awareness DAY

10/29/2014

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Yes, F**k Cancer. But can we be real for a moment?
Breast Cancer is the #25 cause of death internationally.
Stroke is #2.
For Breast Cancer Awareness MONTH, you can do little more than open your pocketbook and profess that yes, you are aware. Oh also, you can wear pink.
For Stroke Awareness DAY(today!) there are things you can actually do.
You can learn the signs of stroke. You can prepare for a life-threatening situation and help someone during the stroke and immediately after the stroke. You can actually be the one to make a difference at the moment it happens.
This hits relatively close to home recently, and it's made me painfully aware. So... Learn the signs. Help others.
F- Face drooping
A - arm weakness
S - slurred speech
T - time is of the essence.
Learning FAST is a good start.
Be advised that there are other signs for stroke - confusion, vision and sudden headaches, notably. Here's a wonderfully well-written story that articulates this well -- a young woman who had a stroke and had NONE of these symptoms.

Rant over. Because it's only a day, after all.

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My Son is Smarter Than Me.

10/28/2014

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"Vaughn, I need you to go up to your room and clean up your clothes. You have clothes all over the place on the floor, and I need you to NEATLY fold them and put them away."

(He leaves and comes back about 10 minutes later)

"Did you put your clothes away?"

"Yeah, I even put away those bins that were on the floor."

"Good. Did you fold them?"

"Yep"

(skeptically) "You don't usually fold things"

"Yeah, I fold things"

"Yes, but you never fold things and put them away, you just throw them in the bins."

"I did."

"So you're saying you've done something you've never done before."

"Yes."

"If I go up there, will I be disappointed?"

(Shrug) "I don't know. That's you."

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The man's guide to what your wife is saying

10/28/2014

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My wife said to me today: "I feel like I'm drowning in laundry. I don't know what it is. And I have to do our blankets too, they stink. ugh!"

I thought I was being helpful as I commiserated with my usual "yeah" and "hm!" - because what do you say? "Wow, sounds like a lot of laundry!" "You can do it, you're the laundry queen!" I thought she was just venting her frustrations, so I showed whatever support I felt at the time by grumbling in assent.

A bit later I went up to take a shower, and thought I'd pitch in with our little problem by folding a load of clothes. I was surprised to find that there wasn't a load in the dryer. There wasn't a load in the washer. There were no loads. It was like a good mutual fund up in here.

Oh good, a finance joke. Those always go over well.

She didn't want my sympathy. She wanted my HELP. Now what she could have said was "hey, can you get a load in the laundry real quick? It's kinda piling up." But instead she chose the pre-passive aggressive route of saying how frustrated she was with her workload(like it's solely hers, which of course it isn't, another story there) - in an attempt to get me to volunteer for service.

So as usual, my response in these moments isn't what she was looking for, and in retrospect I have one of these moments: "oooooh, THAT's what she meant."

"Pre-passive-aggressive", that should immediately be in the urban dictionary, don't you think?

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Tony Markey?

I am a bourgeois spiritualist.
A banjoist,
Social entrepreneur,
quadricycle pilot,
harlequin, and
purveyor of all things passe.
At least I was that yesterday.

I am an elbow model.
a Wii sportsman,
a seven sigma diamond belt,
Rainmaker,
bon vivant du monde,
uniquely de rigeur.

I am a creative genius -
as long as by 'creative' you mean 'things that make you go 'huh', and by genius you mean 'well, that seems smart on the surface'.
Just don't think too much about it.

I am all that you desire -
unless you have really weird desires.
I am humble, more than anyone else in the world.

An artisan of manufacturing processes, and a craftsman of fine art.
A post-modern neo-renaissance man.

I have a heart of gold, a tongue in my cheek, an athlete's foot and a hitch in my git along.

A hater of hate and a lover of love,
A grand master of 5 martial arts - none of which I have studied.

I am a dreamer of dreams --
some of which have been a little erotic, actually. But nevermind that. Unless you're into that?

I am a man of amazing vision, but worsening eyesight.

I am 1/2 vagabond,
1/2 the son and heir (of nothing in particular), and
1/2 fruit salad. Yummy yummy.

I am a nomad, grifter, drifter,
perpetrator of ponzi love schemes
Some people call me a space cowboy...

That's just a little bit about me.

Buy me pretty shoes

Lesser of two evils 2016

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