Like most of us who love coffee, I do not love it. I cherish it. Every black, crusty, syrupy, foul-mouthed cup holds a secret only drinking it can reveal.
I wasn't always a coffee addict. I came into it gradually, dropping Coke and Pepsi and mocking their use as I slowly pushed my coffee consumption window into well after midday. Coke and Pepsi are for those who lack erudition. I am refined. I drink beans that have been ground up with hot water over them. Much more swank, no?
My coffee habit took work! Coffee is an acquired taste. Like heroin. Okay, bad example. The knock on heroin is it's crappy delivery system. Injection?! Pshhht. With coffee, you are pour and a gulp away from bliss. If heroin had such easy access, we might be buying stock in "HeroinBucks" or "StarCrack".
While my analogy sucks and is completely offensive, the comparison isn't completely foreign. Coffee's addictive properties make the dull warmth, the tooth-coating, bad-breath inducing aspects seem like a badge of honor.
Come here, I'll talk directly into your face. It's MAAAAHVELOUS. I'll bet you want another cup right now dontcha huh dontcha.
My coffee habit took work! Coffee is an acquired taste. Like heroin. Okay, bad example. The knock on heroin is it's crappy delivery system. Injection?! Pshhht. With coffee, you are pour and a gulp away from bliss. If heroin had such easy access, we might be buying stock in "HeroinBucks" or "StarCrack".
While my analogy sucks and is completely offensive, the comparison isn't completely foreign. Coffee's addictive properties make the dull warmth, the tooth-coating, bad-breath inducing aspects seem like a badge of honor.
Come here, I'll talk directly into your face. It's MAAAAHVELOUS. I'll bet you want another cup right now dontcha huh dontcha.
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