Tony Markey
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Rollin' Coal

1/21/2015

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From the "too stupid to make up" department: Here's the trend in the sweet south called "Rolling coal," where you rig your diesel truck up to spew black smoke. And then subject people to it.

It's just stupid, stupid, and stupid. I can't say that enough.
It's pollution porn for morons. "If someone makes you mad, you can just roll coal, and it makes you feel better sometimes," says Ryan, an idjit that hails from South Carolina.

Not content to show their stupidity the old fashioned way with a bumper sticker, these rubes shell out actual money to blow smoke at others, especially Prius owners and people on bicycles. That's about as much fun as fart jokes, ain't it?


Plus, there's a twitter hashtag, @rollingcoalclub, which makes it totally legitimate, like #daterapeclub or #killbabysealsclub
.


It's the oil industry's wet dream: people dumb enough to rig their engines to waste fuel, creating poorer gas mileage, costing them money as they buy more fuel. That's a win-win-win right thar.
Everybody happy.

Rollin coal is to owning a Prius what murder is to Christianity: a sin, and also a pretty terrible idea even for people who aren't Christians.
"You want clean air and a tiny carbon footprint? Well, screw you."

This practice has a decidedly evil flavor as diesel fumes kill people prematurely each year. I don't expect coal-rollers to understand this, but this is like blowing a thousand cigarettes into the face of someone. Actually, they probably understand that just fine. And they do it as a giant flip-off with that intention. Nice. Even worse, some people just think it's cool. It's cigarettes for your truck, with similar effects.

Stephen Colbert's takedown of the practice here.

...and Go like the "rollin coal" facebook page. It's just a derptastic cultural smorgasbord over there.
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